In Step with God
By Floanne Kersh

     Everyone gets out of step now and then. It is only when we remain out of step that problems arise for those around us. Think of the marching band, the military drill team, the Rockette Dancers, the rescue team. The out-of-step members in these situations are misfits who must be replaced.

     In the workplace, however, it does not usually go this far and we learn to work around the ones who do not know how, or who refuse to be team players. Maybe we should take a closer look into the mindset of those we must work beside. Usually there are several emotions at play with the person who stirs up problems. They may be starved for attention, good or bad. They may feel intimidated, may not feel he or she is getting proper recognition, or may suffer from a power/ego problem. This person cannot see the mistakes they make, but can clearly see the wrong doings of others on the work force.

     It doesn’t take us long to form opinions of the troublemaker, and, if we allow this person to ruin our own enjoyment and success, we will be forever miserable in the work environment. A defensive attack on the problem person is not the answer. Some suggest: “Ignore it, don’t pay any attention, that’s just the way the person is.” However, when we must work in the close proximity with a “thorn in the side” over a period of time, we cannot be relaxed or productive. More likely the sore place will grow and become unbearable, so what can we do?
• Recognize getting out of one work place is no guarantee there isn’t a misfit in the next work place.
• Always look inward first and ask, “Could I have been wrong? Did I do or say anything to bring on this problem? Honest search and clearance of our own conscience before we become angry toward the other person is a must.
• Control our voice’s tone and remarks by taking deep, concentrated, slow breaths. Not only will this bring blood pressure down, it will make us proud of our strength and self-control. Someone looking for a fight, standing over us shaking their finger in our face can’t get much satisfaction if we remain silent or refuse to reply in kind.
• A person who is underhanded, talks us down behind our back, deliberately misinterprets our actions, or quotes us negatively out of context, often indicates a deep personal problem. In this case, we should feel sympathy rather than anger, a much more constructive emotion.
• Refuse to be upset. It keeps us emotionally stable and calms our tummy. Learn to comment, if we must, in a favorable or complimentary way. When the other person loses control, yells unkind words, blames us for something absurd, etc., we must learn to keep our cool. It is the very best ammunition and only makes that person transparent to others.

• Psychologically speaking, be one step ahead of the “office headache.” After a verbal attack, we might comment pleasantly and sincerely, not sarcastically, on any positive aspect of the problem, or, simply change the subject: “Have you noticed what a beautiful day this is?” or “I can’t help but notice that blue blouse is so becoming to you; it matches your eyes perfectly.” It isn’t easy for the attacker to remain angry or to continue in the same vein. Instead, this pleasant come back is usually mind-boggling and the person walks away. On the other hand, it could lead to eventual friendship with the person realizing you are really a pretty nice person.

• Remember, we never know what deep emotional problem or stress may be hidden under the scowl of the out-of-step team member. If we knew, or had experienced their pain, we might want to take that person in our arms and offer the love and security he or she may never have received.
• Keep in mind the object of every strategy is eventual peace in the work place, not just winning one round of an ongoing fight.

     No matter how kind, understanding, caring and fair we may be, not everyone will love us. This is a fact well worth remembering. However, God loves us. That, in itself, is what matters most.

     All through the day we need to take our problems to God. We should not wait for an incident, but be prepared. God will be the strength and support we need, and he will never let us down. When we aren’t sure what to say, let God put the words in our mouth. When we do this we’ll be surprised what we can learn when we hear ourselves speak out. Then we will know we are on the right track and in step with God.